Who the fuck are you?!?

It’s dark out, and if I open my blinds, I see an unknown face watching me apathetically in the window. Maybe it’s the beard, the parasitic mass of (almost) pubic hair growing from my cheeks, that seems so unusual to me. It’s not a common addition to my persona after all. On the other hand, maybe it’s not only that I have the cabin (no fancy dwellings on this little commune) to myself of an evening, nor even just that I am at “home” rather than slaving away for the usual per hour pittance at this time of night, but that I am sitting down at my box of Microsoft filled frustration to… write.

Mmmm… yes and I have actually laid down more then one measly sentence. One pathetic little string of words written and re-written so many fucking times that I forget what I am writing, or writing for in the first place, which ends up sounding so bloody trite that the only reason I don’t delete the fucking thing is that… that… I can’t bear to. My words are my children, the mewling results of painful labour, that perhaps need occasionally to be tied in a bag and thrown in the river, but who could be so cruel to an infant… really.

[NB – For all the anal grammarians out there, Bill Bryson, Mr Lynes, I am well aware of the fact that I usually, frequently, and entirely unashamedly use the ellipsis (the what? … … moron) incorrectly. There is nothing (intentional) missing from my spate of self-indulgent little diatribes, and I’m not the only one who tries to denote a pause by signifying an omission… so piss off]

Anyhoo, there ya have it. A wholly unimportant little run of not much for the first time I have (dis)graced cyberspace with my thoughts is nearly twelve lunar cycles.

I a curious though that this first time I have felt moved to do such in such a lengthy time is not long before we leave the Lost Valley [mis]Education Center, as the last time I engaged myself thus, was just before we arrived… will this whole borderline hippie commune experience be as profoundly changing for me as this seems to portend…

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~ by Gethin A. Lynes on September 5th, 2007.

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