The Impulse Urge

Well, let me see, it’s been ages since I graced the pages, but coming right through the round of stages, I’m realising that the dangers, of too much reflection, looking for direction, trying to find the rhyme and the rhythm, the balance, well it isn’t, sitting around and thinking, wondering what I could do, thinking that I should do, all these bits of work, rather than what I want to do…

Lacan, where Lacan? he says. The same place the idea of substituting the process of writing something creative with writing about writing something creative… in the fucking toilet! But let me go back to the previous commentation: you just need to do it more…

Well, yeah, but… I am coming to realise that I am Mr Impulsive. Do I sit down regularly, and keep working on that thing that I’ve been working on, the novel, the story, the graphic novel, the other graphic novel, the idea for that other graphic novel… blah blah, heard it all before. Do I do it? No, ya don’t. Can I do it? Yes, ya can. Really? Not convinced yet.

So impulsion, I sit and scribble, and doodle, and think, and sketch, and out comes something like a good idea, something that once I’ve worked out how to say, even I might want to hear, and that’s where it stays, who the fuck knows what is says, and the next time I get out a pen, it’s to scribble out some other fucking thought, instead of actually sitting down and being measured about things.

Like this really, I had this whole page full of nonsense in my head when I sat down, and well, now that I’ve a little bit down on (e)paper, the urge has gone, and I’m more interested in something else that’s goona give me some more immediate gratification…

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~ by Gethin A. Lynes on March 21st, 2009.

One Response to “The Impulse Urge”

  1. Ah, my friend. The eternal dilemma for those of us not blessed with patience. I think that part of the problem (for myself at least) is that I want to have had the experience more than I want to have the experience. The idea in total is interesting and seems kinda rewarding, but the doing. Well, I know/think that it could/should be, but I want it done dammit, and I don’t want to wait.
    Also I think that when something has some degree of officiality (sic) then it changes instantly and you want it to instantly be the elusive, complex and (as you said) interesting thought that you glimpsed in your head. But that doesn’t happen so quickly, there’s usually dross before hand. That’s one of the reasons I reckon that people get into making comments such as this one, on blogs, articles ets, because you just speak, so to speak, and don’t worry about it being part of your ‘legacy’, know what I mean?

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