Almost, Sweet Talk…

I am fucking wired! again, WIRED I TELL YOU!

I have spent years consuming so much fucking coffee, that it has long been the case that the only note I could possibly take of it’s affect upon me, is the blessed relief it provided from that (almost) daily feeling of having been hit by a truck when I get out of bed in the morning.

However,… [pause for dramatic effect]… I have been so good recently, not only in severely limiting my caffeine intake, but also in doing all that exercise nonsense that helps keep me regular – like bran flakes do for old folks – that now on those odd occasions when I do drink of the sweet frothy goodness, I understand the TRUTH!!1

…And then I’m so scattered and jittery I forget it…

Anyway, I noticed recently – which I suspect has nothing to do with my initial intention in writing another post which, naturally (given my scattered state) I have forgotten – at a gig in Weegieland, how many fucking people spend most of the show taking photos or video on their bloody phones.

Now, I am all for recording live shows and posting them online for the benefit of the rest of the copyright pirates out there, but personally I like to actually experience seeing a band on stage, not seeing a band on stage through the minute little window of my phone’s screen. Not to mention the fact that I like to be able to see a band, rather than a sea of fucking phones in front of me… mobile phones are the new lighters2 which the kiddies are all wont to hold up and wave in the air, faces full of melodramatic angst, while the gods before them belt out some soft-core classic.

I was going to have a wee rant about this post-FNM at the Corn Exchange, but somehow got distracted – possibly by Absence and Absynthe and all that – actually, in fact, I just had a wee look, and it seems I did have a wee rant about it back there. BUT… it wasn’t as ranty as this one so once more unto the breach and all that…

There were even two girls standing in front of me at this most recent incarnation of the net-gen version of seeing live music – clearly, I might add, members of the American Jock Association, that does such a good job of giving Dave Matthews Band a bad name – who spent at least half the fucking show sending SMS messages (no doubt containing some of their recently pirated images) to their poor little Sorority Sisters who were missing out on the “cultural experience” of seeing their home grown cultural gods performing to a bunch of folk who, despite all claims to the contrary, dinnae speak English ken?

We might as well start selling tickets to massive, empty warehouses, where a bunch of retards3 can get together and hold their i-phones aloft, and shake their little money-makers to the 3G stream of the reunion of New Kids On The Block (for example). And then they could all go to the Farcebook©4 after party, “hang out” with their “friends” and “talk” about how good the “gig” was… Fuck… I am a marketing genius!

1 – Shaikh Abd-al-Qadir.
2 – More on the whole “this is the new that” phenomenon later – or maybe earlier – have I already had a rant about that, or was it just in my head?
3 – Most sincere apologies to the Politically Correct Crowd, and anyone who might actually have some form of disability, but who would be, nevertheless, far less RETARDED than these people.
4 – It’s mine, I thought of it, and I’m keeping it.


~ by Gethin A. Lynes on March 25th, 2010.

2 Responses to “Almost, Sweet Talk…”

  1. Fuck, how random… WordPress decides to automatically generate a link to a “possibly related” post – to a fucking video of a 2012-ish storm in Melbs?
    Too strange… unless perhaps they’re quite on the ball, and I have just predicted the end of the world… as we know it… ooh, eerie…

  2. Go the psychic WordPress! But mate, I couldnae agree more. I was enjoying the Dead Weather last week in Melbourne town and was struck by the same thought. The sheer number of people who were spending fuckin’ ages on their phones, filming and photographing shit. Damn. I mean, I’m totally with you on the acceptance of the occasional desire to take a snap or a little wee video clip, but sometimes you spend a good five to ten minutes unable to see much at bloody all except some retards display screen.

    I figured out a while ago that one of the primary reasons that I don’t take photos at gatherings and such all that often is because I prefer to experience rather than watch. I think people often feel the need to have a broader purpose to their time than simply being there and enjoying it.

    And nothing wrong with retard. It’s been my insult and denigration of choice for a few months now, and I do tend to be one of those sensitive PC cunts.

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